My husband and I learned this early in our, so far, 40 year marriage. Thanks to a realtor when we bought our first and current house. Base your mortgage on one income, he said wisely, so you have choices. Babies came, we lived simply all our lives, lower than our income could afford, even though our income was never high. Kids grew up, we both retired in our 50's. Still content to live simply, still with choices. One 5 wooded acres with a garden, blueberry field, bee hives and a horse. Five grandkids to spoil. Our house is nothing to be proud of, but our lifestyle is satisfying. Your story confirmed this for me. Thanks, Techno-Fog.
Powerful. Great story about what can happen if you don't have priorities. Sometimes if you're lucky you'll get them straight after going thru some of this kind of hell. I know. I did.
Yea, until she's 56 like me and it is too late. Why didn't anyone tell me back then? Getting too old to start over one more time, and too fearful. I was once a jet setter. Now, my back won't even let me sit in a chair and hold a job, it's congenital, no injury. Find love, people!!
It may be too late for some things, Shepardess. But, if you are willing to change, it is not too late to find joy, purpose and meaning in life. Based on your post, it sounds like you have much wisdom.
Don't squander you're remaining time. It's a blessing.
When I decided to stay home with our babies, a lot of other women said "Oh, I'd go crazy stuck at home with the kids all day.".. As if I was some drone, chained to the stove and babysitters or co-ops didn't exist. Yet I might as well have been chained to my plastic desk at the office:only allowed out, blinking into the sunlight, for lunch hour, then back inside, no matter how busy or idle, until 5pm. I wanted to say, "Aw it's ok. I actually kinda like my kids and we go out whenever we like." but I usually just laughed it off, because it was too hard to explain that "women's work" is only drudgery because materialistic feminists have deemed it so.
Wow! Beautifully written! This is exactly why we decided to leave normal society and live debt free off grid. We have lived on our little mountain for 4yrs now and have never been happier! We can actually enjoy our homestead and pretty much do whatever we want! Love our life!!!
My forty year old son made a point while visiting over the weekend regarding his new found female friend. He has had three prior serious relationships, spanning over a decade, which for one reason or another didn't work out. He has seriously wanting to get married throughout this time and was engaged to and actually planned weddings for the first two, but both bailed out in the 11th hour. The last one he actually married but it only lasted about six months. All three kept the engagement and wedding rings when they bailed. In my opinion, many women today seem confused and unable to enter into a firm commitment. When I asked him how he met his current friend, he said over the internet. My initial thought was, which I kept to myself, was son, that doesn't sound like it's one that has much of a chance working out either. His explanation was that this approach is about all that's left today with the Covid craziness wrecking society. Then it struck me how right he was. The forced isolation on all segments of society today is awful and surely taking an immeasurable social, mental, and physical toll on humanity. As I read the above story about a confused women's plight and missed chances on marriage, I couldn't help but think about my son's experiences. Even those seriously wanting to meet someone and get married today face a heretofore unheard of hurdle because most public social settings are closed. It's not at all inviting to try to socialize with someone wearing a mask and maintaining six feet of separation. I hope my son's current relationship work's out because he has been 'beat' up so many times now it may be his final attempt if this one fails. I saw how lost and lonely he was after his divorce and it was heartbreaking to witness.
Yep, that was me ten years ago. I got out. I'd achieved everything I'd set out to achieve career wise, and now I stay home with the kiddies and my husband is off achieving what he's set out of achieve in his career. I frequently thank him for taking the fall for us.
I find meaning in life by serving others. My only problem was, I didn't know when to say 'no'. Through God's grace, I'm learning to say no, sometimes. I've found that the times I needed help, others weren't there to help me. I got mad at God saying to Him that I served Him, what was in it for me? One answer that I got from Him was that He didn't tell me I had to say yes to everything.
I'm learning to trust Him as I discern how I want to serve others, and to set boundaries.
I'm near retirement and want to enjoy my remaining years. Don't get me wrong, I've had a great life. But I do see how marketing led me to believe that I wanted things that I didn't need. I didn't really want most things. I want to become a minimalist.
My wife and I have a goal to go to all 50 states. We're in a great church. My mom is 91 and my siblings and I treasure the time we spend with her.
One of my favorite movies is It's a Wonderful Life.
So much truth in so few words. Eloquent and brutally honest. Fear has a lot of us bound to a reality we loathe (if we’re honest), and afraid of being ourselves and truely following our dreams and passions. I come from the country and yearn that ‘community’ spirit we once had that now seems to have given way to consumerism.
Thank you for these choice words of wisdom....hopefully it’s not too late for us all. 👌🏻
wow.. fantastic and well expressed. sadly what our society has deemed "you made it.' A job where you work long hours but don't produce much, living in a fake apartment, sitting on fake furniture, eating fake food, pretending to be "fake" happy, looking at fake tv shows, made by fake producers, and fake celebrities, all playing pretend in order to avoid the souless, painful pit of despair chewing up our insides like a disposal. Thinking, " yea, something needs to change, but I am too tired to think about it... I'll think about that tomarrow," And tomarrow comes and goes, and comes and goes, and we think, "didn't I JUST DO THIS YESTERDAY?" like a hamster on the wheel that goes around and around and around... but never goes anywhere.... what is the real meaning of life? Maybe its not what we are brainwashed to believe from k-college+plus.. learn, be perfect, failure is not an option, get all a's, take ap classes or colleges won't think you have much to offer.. its all about what you accomplish, not who you are as a person.. GOT it? Must follow the sheep, must follow the pattern.. or else... Now, you better go to college, or else your somehow lesser than your peers, and you won't make much of yourself, nobody will hire you, you better MAJOR in something that, "changes the world, " or your useless, you better run faster, work smarter, work hardler, longer hours, go go go, save the planet, juggle all the balls at the same time.. NOW do it faster, faster, FASTER.... your taking too long, your worthless.. what, you don't care what others think AND walk to your own toon? Who do you think you are? Your Worthless.. you don't fit in with the crowd? Do what they say? Don't bow down to society? Who do you think you are? Your WORTHLESS. right???? EXCEPT< EXCEPT.. you see, your not.. your not.. And when you realize, really listen to that voice inside you that says, "I'm done being on the hamster wheel.. this is not the life I signed up for.. these are not the dreams I thought about when I was little.. this is not who I REALLY am.. " When that happens, when that happens, THEN you will never have just another day.. then you will never have just another day.... then life will be authentic, true and truly yours... not living for someone, or something else or some abstract notion... we only go around once... ONCE.... there ain't no "do-overs."
The further you get from the natural world, the harder the journey back. Look around and ask yourself how much do you need as opposed.to how much do you want. The first is easier to attain and offers years of enjoyment. The second is never actually attained because it constantly changes and you spend your life a slave to the quest.
Wow. I not only read this, I felt it. Beautifully written.
My husband and I learned this early in our, so far, 40 year marriage. Thanks to a realtor when we bought our first and current house. Base your mortgage on one income, he said wisely, so you have choices. Babies came, we lived simply all our lives, lower than our income could afford, even though our income was never high. Kids grew up, we both retired in our 50's. Still content to live simply, still with choices. One 5 wooded acres with a garden, blueberry field, bee hives and a horse. Five grandkids to spoil. Our house is nothing to be proud of, but our lifestyle is satisfying. Your story confirmed this for me. Thanks, Techno-Fog.
Powerful. Great story about what can happen if you don't have priorities. Sometimes if you're lucky you'll get them straight after going thru some of this kind of hell. I know. I did.
Yea, until she's 56 like me and it is too late. Why didn't anyone tell me back then? Getting too old to start over one more time, and too fearful. I was once a jet setter. Now, my back won't even let me sit in a chair and hold a job, it's congenital, no injury. Find love, people!!
It may be too late for some things, Shepardess. But, if you are willing to change, it is not too late to find joy, purpose and meaning in life. Based on your post, it sounds like you have much wisdom.
Don't squander you're remaining time. It's a blessing.
When I decided to stay home with our babies, a lot of other women said "Oh, I'd go crazy stuck at home with the kids all day.".. As if I was some drone, chained to the stove and babysitters or co-ops didn't exist. Yet I might as well have been chained to my plastic desk at the office:only allowed out, blinking into the sunlight, for lunch hour, then back inside, no matter how busy or idle, until 5pm. I wanted to say, "Aw it's ok. I actually kinda like my kids and we go out whenever we like." but I usually just laughed it off, because it was too hard to explain that "women's work" is only drudgery because materialistic feminists have deemed it so.
Wow! Beautifully written! This is exactly why we decided to leave normal society and live debt free off grid. We have lived on our little mountain for 4yrs now and have never been happier! We can actually enjoy our homestead and pretty much do whatever we want! Love our life!!!
Key word in your reply... "we".
My forty year old son made a point while visiting over the weekend regarding his new found female friend. He has had three prior serious relationships, spanning over a decade, which for one reason or another didn't work out. He has seriously wanting to get married throughout this time and was engaged to and actually planned weddings for the first two, but both bailed out in the 11th hour. The last one he actually married but it only lasted about six months. All three kept the engagement and wedding rings when they bailed. In my opinion, many women today seem confused and unable to enter into a firm commitment. When I asked him how he met his current friend, he said over the internet. My initial thought was, which I kept to myself, was son, that doesn't sound like it's one that has much of a chance working out either. His explanation was that this approach is about all that's left today with the Covid craziness wrecking society. Then it struck me how right he was. The forced isolation on all segments of society today is awful and surely taking an immeasurable social, mental, and physical toll on humanity. As I read the above story about a confused women's plight and missed chances on marriage, I couldn't help but think about my son's experiences. Even those seriously wanting to meet someone and get married today face a heretofore unheard of hurdle because most public social settings are closed. It's not at all inviting to try to socialize with someone wearing a mask and maintaining six feet of separation. I hope my son's current relationship work's out because he has been 'beat' up so many times now it may be his final attempt if this one fails. I saw how lost and lonely he was after his divorce and it was heartbreaking to witness.
Incarceration of the soul....House arrest with work release.
Yep, that was me ten years ago. I got out. I'd achieved everything I'd set out to achieve career wise, and now I stay home with the kiddies and my husband is off achieving what he's set out of achieve in his career. I frequently thank him for taking the fall for us.
it is a whole lot of pressure to be the breadwinner. good you support him!!!
I find meaning in life by serving others. My only problem was, I didn't know when to say 'no'. Through God's grace, I'm learning to say no, sometimes. I've found that the times I needed help, others weren't there to help me. I got mad at God saying to Him that I served Him, what was in it for me? One answer that I got from Him was that He didn't tell me I had to say yes to everything.
I'm learning to trust Him as I discern how I want to serve others, and to set boundaries.
I'm near retirement and want to enjoy my remaining years. Don't get me wrong, I've had a great life. But I do see how marketing led me to believe that I wanted things that I didn't need. I didn't really want most things. I want to become a minimalist.
My wife and I have a goal to go to all 50 states. We're in a great church. My mom is 91 and my siblings and I treasure the time we spend with her.
One of my favorite movies is It's a Wonderful Life.
Damn, this one hits home.
So much truth in so few words. Eloquent and brutally honest. Fear has a lot of us bound to a reality we loathe (if we’re honest), and afraid of being ourselves and truely following our dreams and passions. I come from the country and yearn that ‘community’ spirit we once had that now seems to have given way to consumerism.
Thank you for these choice words of wisdom....hopefully it’s not too late for us all. 👌🏻
Wash, rinse, repeat. I feel her pain
wow.. fantastic and well expressed. sadly what our society has deemed "you made it.' A job where you work long hours but don't produce much, living in a fake apartment, sitting on fake furniture, eating fake food, pretending to be "fake" happy, looking at fake tv shows, made by fake producers, and fake celebrities, all playing pretend in order to avoid the souless, painful pit of despair chewing up our insides like a disposal. Thinking, " yea, something needs to change, but I am too tired to think about it... I'll think about that tomarrow," And tomarrow comes and goes, and comes and goes, and we think, "didn't I JUST DO THIS YESTERDAY?" like a hamster on the wheel that goes around and around and around... but never goes anywhere.... what is the real meaning of life? Maybe its not what we are brainwashed to believe from k-college+plus.. learn, be perfect, failure is not an option, get all a's, take ap classes or colleges won't think you have much to offer.. its all about what you accomplish, not who you are as a person.. GOT it? Must follow the sheep, must follow the pattern.. or else... Now, you better go to college, or else your somehow lesser than your peers, and you won't make much of yourself, nobody will hire you, you better MAJOR in something that, "changes the world, " or your useless, you better run faster, work smarter, work hardler, longer hours, go go go, save the planet, juggle all the balls at the same time.. NOW do it faster, faster, FASTER.... your taking too long, your worthless.. what, you don't care what others think AND walk to your own toon? Who do you think you are? Your Worthless.. you don't fit in with the crowd? Do what they say? Don't bow down to society? Who do you think you are? Your WORTHLESS. right???? EXCEPT< EXCEPT.. you see, your not.. your not.. And when you realize, really listen to that voice inside you that says, "I'm done being on the hamster wheel.. this is not the life I signed up for.. these are not the dreams I thought about when I was little.. this is not who I REALLY am.. " When that happens, when that happens, THEN you will never have just another day.. then you will never have just another day.... then life will be authentic, true and truly yours... not living for someone, or something else or some abstract notion... we only go around once... ONCE.... there ain't no "do-overs."
The further you get from the natural world, the harder the journey back. Look around and ask yourself how much do you need as opposed.to how much do you want. The first is easier to attain and offers years of enjoyment. The second is never actually attained because it constantly changes and you spend your life a slave to the quest.
Brilliant! Sharing with my wife. Thanks!